Book Review: The Courage to be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga

About Authors:

Ichiro Kishimi: He is a Kyoto born Philosopher, Adlerian psychologist and translator of English and German languages. He spends most of his time in teaching Adlerian Psychology and child education mostly in Japan. And he is the philosopher in the book while Fumitake is the young man.

Fumitake Koga: He is an award-winning professional writer and author. He has released numerous bestselling works of business-related and general non-fiction.

The Courage to be Disliked

About Book:

This is one of the best philosophical books which I have ever read. Entire book is on dialogue between a young man and a philosopher who lives at the outskirts of city. Fundamental arguments are taken from the philosophy of Alfred Adler who is an Austrian psychiatrist and known as the third giant in the world of psychology along with Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung. And the philosophy is known as teleology (the study of purpose of given phenomenon, rather than its cause)

There are many points which push me into the deep thinking and here are 15 amongst them.

  • World is utterly simple and anyone can change without any exception as the world is subjective along with its simplicity.
  • Concepts of inferiority and superiority complex and how to avoid both of them.
  • People fabricate anger as it a tool for communication.
  • Unhappiness is something you choose for yourself for some goals to achieve.
  • Trauma does not exist, we built it for certain goals to achieve just like unhappiness. Mostly special attention or care from others.
  • You are the only one worry about your appearance.
  • Most of the time we had the goal of taking a dislike to someone beforehand, and then started looking for the flows to satisfy the goal.
  • Deny the desire for recognition as it will lead to satisfy the expectations of others. In many cases it is due to the influence of reward and punishment education.
  • All the problems of a person are nothing but interpersonal relationship problems. And solution for that is separation of tasks, and discard other people tasks.
  • Real freedom is accepting who we are and showing courage to change the things that we can.
  • Do not rebuke or praise. Instead of praising show the gratitude.
  • Build horizontal relationships not the vertical one to solve our interpersonal relation problems.
  • Difference between trust and confidence and why we should have confidence on people. Because in that way people will become our comrades.
  • ‘Work’ does not mean having a job at a company. Work in home, childrearing, contributing to the local society, hobbies and all manner of the things are work.
  • Our value lies in the contribution to the community (living non-living)

Note: Many of the above points will seem obvious but few needs further reading to comprehend it.

Buy this book